Motherfuckin' Socia-crappa-lology

Peep this journo buddies, that dude S.Ryan is a knobjockey. Wat the fuck is up his hole?(wait dont answer that i'll tell you)Him! He went on an expidition up there as a child and the dude never came back. Public sphere?! Its like he makes this shit up as he goes along, dont make no sense. So we get back at him in little ways, now and then;' example?' I heard someone scream. Relax I was gettin to it. Some dialogue from recent Socia-crappa-lology lecture.

Nick: Single or double staple.

S.Ryan: I prefer single staple.

John:(in a low conspiring voice)Ye, like the one in his ear!

John and Aisling laughed, well whisper-laughed,S.Ryan 0 John 1.

Local Sugar Puff Monster,Eric, seems to have got the hang of things. Dude just made up his own word in the lecture! Infotainment?! Its not quite information and it aint entertainment its stuck in the middle like ham in a sandwich(a ham sandwich). Needless to say Kudos were flowing from S.Ryan who devoured the word and re-gurgitated it at every opportunity.

In short; That Dude's a dickhead!

Ramblings of a drunken kind.

Yesterday John went to my house and found a 70 year old israeli guy sitting in the living room with no lights on wearing a Finnish Olympic tracksuit. John then proceeded to hand a book over which was meant to be passed on to me. I didnt get it. Sup wit dat? Why wasn't I there? Cos I was doing Israeli 'Martial Arts' with(i dont know his name) Dude be nimble tho. And what about John I hear you ask really loudly? John got pro evolution 6 yesterday and played it with buddy/lover Cathal before goin to the Conradh and gettin wasted. asdf jkl; asdf jkl; this may look random but is in fact the foundation of all things typed. Ths is the word of the Ballinteerbandit I defy anyone to object.asdf jkl; asdf jkl;.................word..................to ya muthaz.

Uggs bugs us!

Fuckin uggs! Eskimo gobshites strolling around in furry boots all year round! Its a goddamn epidemic! Dont even snow here! More later.....................

Sugar Puff Monsters On The Loose!

Sugar Puff Monster attacks are rare but ferocious, these fellas may look cute and cuddly but savage lurks within. Me and my man-servant, Max, demand that measures be taken to stifle the rising Sugar Puff Monster population having been attacked ourselves whilst gangster-leaning by our local 24/7 convenience store. Though we overpowered it and then had our way with it, the experience affected us greatly. These furry-yellow motherfuckers gotta be stopped. BallinteerBandit calls for stricter anti-Sugar Puff Monster regulations.

A story, about Hughs feet.

Yo so check this me and my man Hughbert went cruisin for foot-gloves(shoes) on Wednesday. You aint gonna believe this shit. Brought his ass to Size?(retro shoes and crap...) Dude saw these shoes he digged,said 'Yo this shits fly,I would like these in size 12'. Dude just laughed , might aswell have called Hugh a clown, turns out they dont make shoes for freaks. You cant get size 12! Hugh is a monster! Watch out for that shit................!

Skangers and skaters unite!

The equivalent of gangsters in Ireland and the universal skater stereotype have united to create a common front in the struggle for East and West Ballinteer and control of the ever important church car-park. For years the car-park has been seen as a haven for local devil-worshipers(Gothic people!) but since the close down of nearby Shell filling station the Skangers have drifted North in search of new pastures, the ensuing struggle continues but has escalated into impromptu 'slagging matches'(Rap battles,Irish style). For example ,'I had your Ma', typical Irish greeting, the utterance of this phrase results in dialogue too extreme for this page. Likened to the Great War or 'World War 1' the battle usually ends before it begins. They usually travel with the skangers strolling in the middle of the path, flanked by both the BMXers and the skaterboyz thus re-creating the classic pincer movement, almost german like in its efficiency. Children born into this new order are doomed from the start, families divided, hearts broken and an over-riding sense of despair. Suggestions encouraged and welcomed